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Time to Connect with Your Teen

Make Way Teenagers to Independence

 
On the Parents side of the coin, it's like we went from diapering our children and being the center of their universe to complete strangers..! Of course, the teens would say we have just plain out turned into a major pain in the rear for them.

 

It's a bit weird for me when I think about the time when my boys were younger, all they wanted was my complete attention that sometimes was a struggle to provide at every minute of the day. Welcome to the Teen Years Parents...! Teen relationships

 

The roles have switched.. As much as we dislike it, we will now struggle to get the attention of our children as they struggle to give it to us... Ultimately, we do want our children to become strong, independent, and well-rounded adults, and most of them will.

 

However, during this whole process of becoming a teenager, as parents we tend to go through a bit of separation anxiety of our own. Our teens simply do not require the same attention they did when they were younger.

It is important for all parents to realize during this transition, our teens DO need our attention and our love, but we have to approach it differently as they make their way to independence. This is the phase where talking and relating with our teens will meet its biggest challenge. Hang on to your hats parents...!

The first part of doing this is grabbing their interest first. For myself, I have found the best ways to grab their attention is to find things that I have in common with them or show a genuine interest in the things they like or may be involved with.

Unfortunately, teens tend to feel they really don't have anything in common with their parents, or the parents just can't seem to grasp what it's like to be a teenager in today's society.

This is why you need to show them you're not the person from the "dark ages" as they may think and to do this, you need to listen, learn, and pay attention to what they have going on in their world. If you can manage to do this, you could be well on your way to being the "cool" but responsible parent they didn't know they had.

Now you're probably wondering how you are going to pull this off.. Don't worry... I will give you an example. My teenage son has a big interest in stereo sound systems, so one day I just started asking him questions about stereos and sure enough, his face lit up like a Christmas tree.

In fact, I couldn't get him to stop talking. At the start of our conversation, I had little knowledge about this subject, but at the same time it was a complete joy just to be talking with my teen and have him actually open up and I learned a few things too.

My main focus was to get him to engage in a conversation with me and by asking just a couple short questions about something he really had a passion for, he opened up. Before I knew it, he was bringing me magazines, pictures, and even took me to the computer to show me all sorts of things.

This is the time to keep it light and keep things fun. Your goal is to open the lines of communication again with your teen rather than leaving them closed.

 

Timing is the biggest trick for parents and finding the most opportune moment is key. While your teen may not have several hours to devote to talking with mom and dad, there are probably more times in your day than you realize in which you can utilize to communicate with your teen.  See related article: Girls Will Be Girls Longer When Home Life Is Stable  

 

By Tammy Pinarbasi-
 

 

 

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