Teen Dating Does Not Have to Mean Having Sex

This could well seem like an odd thing to say but many parents do not appreciate how essential it is to teach teens that dating and sex are not one and the same.

Unfortunately many teenagers merely assume that sex is a natural part of dating and even a glance at magazines and television aimed at teens gives a clear idea of just why this is so. Do not simply assume that your teenagers know the difference between dating and sex and ensure that you clearly communicate this message to them.

Teach your children the ins and outs of dating and sex from an early age and strengthen this message often. In particular, help your teens to appreciate that dating means getting to know the other person emotionally and not merely physically.

Teens will often have a 'single track mind' and you will have to suggest other things that they can do on a date rather than simply focusing their attention on having sex.

This might appear silly but you would be amazed at how often teenagers opt for sex as an option simply out of boredom and cannot come up with anything else to occupy their time.

So, as bizarre as it might appear you really will have to recommend things that your teenage children can do to enjoy themselves on a date. If you can succeed in getting them to stay busy enough then there is a good chance that they will have to say no less often.

A significant number of parents teach their teenagers how to go about saying no to sex and suggest a whole string of excuses or one-liners.

The is alright but a one-liner only tends to work once and merely brushing off the suggestion with a one-liner is only putting the question off in the short term and leaving the door open for the suggestion to come up time and again.

The solution therefore is to teach your child to simply say no firmly and clearly and that, while they might feel like giving a reason, they should not need to do so and merely saying no ought to be sufficient.

Should you find yourself in the situation in which a teen has already experimented with sex then you may feel that it is too late to teach them to say no. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Many teenagers think that once they have had sex with someone they cannot reasonably refuse to do so again.

The fact that they have had sex does not mean that this issue can simply be 'ticked off' their development list and you must make it clear that they they are free to refuse sex if they feel uneasy.

You should also discuss with them the fact that engaging in sex should always be something of significance and special and that a great deal myth surrounds the significance of their initial sexual experience.

While teaching your children about the importance of building relationships that are based upon a great deal more than just sex, it is also essential to combine this with teaching your children about safe sex. However much you may want to do so you cannot always prevent your teenagers from engaging in sex.

-By Donald Saunders-